A Better You? By Jane Mannette,
Transformational Coach, Trainer and Consultant
It is very apparent that every living thing has something inside of it that is designed and urged to expand, grow and express more of itself. Every living thing is seeking expansion at some level or it certainly seems so. But is that an innate drive to be better or is it our innate desire to express more of who we already truly are…I think that is a difference worth exploring. My intent here is not to be contrary or controversial, but to highlight some distinctions and questions as well as some long held assumptions that may not serve us as much as we have been led to believe.
I have been a veteran of the “Personal Development Movement” for over 40 years. I was dating someone whose first gift to me was a Jim Rohn cassette tape. I was totally hooked and I became a card-carrying member of the club. In fact, I went on to become a Trainer, Speaker and Consultant in the “Success Motivation Industry.”
If you are in any way like me, you have probably read all the right books, listened to all the right tapes, attended the must-attend seminars over the last 10-40 years. You too may have made a few observations along the way on this journey of self-improvement that many of us have been on and are still are on.
Some of us read a book or attend a seminar and our whole life changes.
We begin to see the world as an array of infinite possibilities. We begin to thrive and achieve amazing results in business and in life and empower others to do the same. Others read the same books and attend the same seminars and struggle with approximating anything close to a winning attitude or self-motivation. Now mind you, I have benefited greatly from the positive principles of personal development…. but, am I better, is the question.
I think the issue is that we do not come with an easily understood step- by-step operations manual. We do not fully understand how we are designed to operate; how we work or how life really works. We have a lot of misunderstanding about where our feelings, thoughts and inspirations come from. We do not understand the relationship between thoughts, feelings and results. We were raised, nurtured and educated by well-meaning people who didn’t understand these concepts either, but thought they did, and acted as if they did. We believed them.
The idea of “A Better You” suggests that you are not good enough right now – that you have to have more or know more or do more to be better. That idea suggests that something is missing or needs to be added in order for you to be happy, heathy, wealthy or successful. This often leads to an obsession that can cause us to neglect our family, relationships, spiritual practices and even our own health and well being to obtain this “Better Me.” As a transformational coach, it is concerning, and engenders much compassion, to see how many people struggle and suffer due to their limiting beliefs that they are not enough.
This relentless feeling prevents us from relaxing or enjoying life until we reach a certain goal that we determine will make us “enough” – whether it is a goal to reach a certain rank or earn a certain amount of money or to build a certain size of team. This is just a part of the downside of this outside-in thinking behind the concept of striving to be “A Better You.”
This way of thinking is so ingrained in the fabric of our culture that we think it is both natural and true. But is it? My understanding is that we are not flawed in any way, and that we do not need to be “fixed.” Our innate default setting is love, joy, peace, creativity, contentment, non-judgement, wisdom, insight, etc. We are already perfect, strong, wise, loving, resourceful and creative. In fact, the essence of who we are cannot be fixed or change. We are so magnificently designed that our innate being is whole, peaceful, loving, knowing, creative, wise and well. So what we each need is not fixing to be better, but to become aware and embrace our wholeness and our perfection right now in the present moment.
That part of ourselves that is all good, all-knowing and loving can only be experienced by being in the present.
You cannot be happy yesterday. You cannot experience happiness in the future. You can only be happy in the present. You cannot experience joy or love or contentment or inspiration yesterday or tomorrow. It can only in the vast now. These highly desired states of being can only be witnessed fully in the present moment, in reality. So the notion of being “A Better You” under closer scrutiny comes up lacking.
Imagine for a moment what you would be like if you were repeatedly told as child that you were perfect, creative, whole and wise and to always follow your passions and your heart and to trust your intuitive nature. Moreover, what if you were treated that way? What do you think your world would be like now as an adult? There is major paradigm shift that is taking place in the human potential area and it is exhilarating and exciting. In the world of transformational work, we are now shifting to reminding people who they already are. You are not your limiting beliefs. You are not your past. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. You are innately whole, loving, wise and perfect!
From my viewpoint, which has evolved over the past 40 years of transformational work, aligning yourself with your innate greatness and power is very different than constantly striving and struggling to be a better you by seeking something outside of you.
If these thoughts resonate with you in any way, I recommend the following:
Accept yourself totally and completely just the way you are right now today.
Do YOU! Just do what you love and what you are good at doing. Do what makes your heart sing!
Lead with your curiosity, interest, passion, talents and strengths; partner with your so-called weaknesses. Contrary to public opinion, you do not have to be good at everything. Surround yourself with people whose talents and strengths complement your own.
Remind yourself daily that you are magnificently designed and created; that you have everything within you that you need and that you can attract whatever you need whenever you need it!
Use your magic wand daily ….your imagination!
Set aside quiet alone time daily to contemplate deeply and to visualize seeing everything you desire in the present tense as an accomplished fact.
Act as if…act like you already have all that you desire – walk like it, talk like it, move like it, dress like it, etc.
Accept that other people’s opinions of you are none of your business and have no power over you. It is only a statement about them.
Become aware of and monitor which of your thought patterns and images increase your motivation and creativity.
As often as possible, spend time with people who love you unconditionally.
As often as possible, spend time with people who make you laugh.
Understand that your feelings have no power over you! They are like vapor; they come and evaporate into thin air quickly unless you capture them and concretize them.
Allow yourself to know and understand that your feelings are ONLY the Principle of Thought in the moment and have no relationship to reality. Feelings cannot predict or judge your value or your performance or control any part of you or your life unless you concretize them and treat them as if they are real. THE BIG ILLUSION!
Any time you feel stuck or confused or overwhelmed hire a Transformational Coach immediately. The results are usually fast and very impacting. All successful people have coaches.
- Being Bold! By Jane Mannette - June 30, 2019
- A Better You? By Jane Mannette - August 1, 2017
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