Anatomy of relationships by Linda Yates

LindaYates1With lessons in hand let’s ask ourselves how we can enrich all of our relationships and experience lasting happiness and joy.  Why is it that there are some individuals on this planet that you instantly connect with and others who take a little bit of time? This question has been one that I have often meditated upon. I find that those individuals whom I feel what I like to refer to as, “energy transference,” are the individuals I enjoy spending time with. What is meant by “energy transference?”

Energy transference is when you feel positive and synergistic communication occurring between yourself and another.

In contrast, have you ever met those folks who when you have a dialogue or exchange information with they suck the life right out of you? I know I have, and I have made it a priority to seek relationships that I feel positive energy from. NULL

Some of our deepest relationships sometimes start off rocky or we misjudge the individual. One of my dearest friends growing up had the personality of someone who was aloof and unapproachable. As time went on and we had reason to interact I realized what an amazing woman she was and currently is. The lesson to each of us is to be careful not to judge. In fact if you become a perceiver instead of a judger you will experience more happiness. Deep relationships, like a flower, need nurturing. When misunderstandings or tension occurs with my spouse or children I can usually trace it back to a lack of quality time or quality connection with that individual. There are also relationships that you may lose touch with someone for many months or years then you have an opportunity to reconnect. In some of these relationships it’s like you pick up the conversation where it left off. That is really fun! Individuals who knew you as a child and whom you grew up with are special because as we mature in life there is a bond of history and shared growing experiences. As I write this article I am smiling because of the very dear individuals that come to mind.

In business relationships there is another dynamic. Depending on how approachable you are in your business will determine the level of depth you experience.

You get to perceive what your different business relationships bring to your life. You may have guarded relationships with those who report to you or you may have a very warm and open relationship. The beauty with life is the power within each of us to define exactly what it is we want. You will receive what you focus upon. A personal experience comes to mind as it relates to business. Early in my career I worked with a gentleman who was the President/Owner of a small business. He was very outgoing and funny. I tended to be a little bit shy but as time went on my personality opened up. I was new to the workforce and several of the things I was doing for this owner were new territory for me. He saw in me the ability to perform tasks I was uncertain about. He trusted me to learn and grow and do the best I could. About a year or so into the position, he had to undergo emergency back surgery. I assisted him in running the business from his bedside. Through that experience our families became very close and still to this day when I see him and we meet someone he knows he introduces me as the person he credits with saving his business. To me he is a great example of nurturing those who report to you and showing appreciation for a job well done. One of my personal goals is to connect with as many individuals on Mother Earth as possible. I love people! I love the diversity that makes up each of us. It is so fulfilling for me to see others realize their potential and for them to experience success. There is a poignant clip I came across years ago. In fact, in doing research on the Internet, it appears that the author is unknown. That saddens me because I have gained much enrichment from it. Here it is: Reason, Season or Lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. So as we reflect on the anatomy of the different relationships in our lives let us consider what they have brought to us and what we have learned. With those lessons in hand let’s ask ourselves how we can enrich all of our relationships and experience lasting happiness and joy.


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