Coaches are like roaches By Deborah Neary

Deborah Neary

Coaches are like roaches, they are everywhere and they rhyme!

But don’t worry I’m going to be talking about some cuddly creatures instead.

Apparently, Tardigrades are everywhere and it’s almost impossible to see them without a microscope, they are the cutest tiny creatures the size of this full stop. Never heard of them? I suggest you google them, believe me, you will fall in love and you will want one as a pet. Don’t worry you probably already have several who moved in years ago having tea parties right under your nose. What the heck does this have to do with coaching? Well, nothing actually, except for one or possibly two things. Like coaches, these little cuties are everywhere and they are incredibly resilient, they can tolerate a lot of extreme conditions.

No beast on Earth is tougher than the tiny tardigrade.

It can survive being frozen at -272° Celsius, being exposed to the vacuum of outer space, and even being blasted with 500 times the dose of X-rays that would kill a human. In other words, the creature can endure conditions that don’t even exist on Earth, (I got that bit from the Interwebs).

Unless you look for them you don’t know they are around you. Well in the case of coaches even if we didn’t want to see them they show up in every corner of our lives. If we were to look hard enough there is probably a coach for you on how to identify, pitch, and recruit a Tardigrade into your network marketing gig, heck, they will even show you how to build ten levels deep and a thousand Tardys wide, without having to talk or have tea with a single one. That’s a stretch but are you picking up what I’m putting down?

The other similarity between the two, in case you are keeping track of my crazy metaphoric rant, is that we all probably need one of two of each, Tardys and coaches.

Well, by now, I have either completely lost you or I have your undivided attention. If the latter is true then you, my lovely, are coachable and not put off easily by something that doesn’t make any sense at all, as long as it is intriguing or makes you giggle.

Ten years ago I was chatting with a neighbor whose kids went to the same school ours were attending. We could have become great friends except for one thing. At that time in my life, I took her opinion personally. The conversation got deep and I mentioned that my “life coach” was teaching me something new and outside the box. She loudly scoffed and before I could share this nugget of wisdom she said something I have never forgotten, “What the hell is a life coach? Why would anyone need a coach to live their life? That’s ridiculous, I’ve never heard of anything so absurd.” She was either right or I was ahead of my time. Maybe both. Now I know better than to take comments from others personally but that’s because I’m older and wiser, thanks to years of listening to various coaches.

The thing about coaching and receiving advice from a coach is that we really need to resonate with each other.

It is important that you feel so safe with your coach that you can be honest and be open to hearing how you cover up the real issues that are holding you back from achieving your dreams, even if it is painful at first. It takes courage from your coach to do that at the risk of hurting your feelings. I appreciate mine for that. He is more dedicated to my success than he is to my feelings being hurt and that just makes our friendship even stronger. The truth is oh so sneaky and very good at hiding and pretending to be something else. This is one of the things I love about having a coach to help me uncover what’s been there, lurking under the surface and causing havoc, all along.

You have probably had a few coaches, teachers, mentors, or bosses who you just could not stand being around, me too. It’s hard to focus on growth when you’re gritting your teeth and imagining creative ways to mute them. I was even sent out of a family therapist’s office never to step foot in it again for speaking my truth. It was a difficult week for me but letting go of the ones who make matters worse can be very dramatic but necessary for our own growth. Even if they seem to have the answers. Not everyone is a good fit.

Remember, coaching is a personal journey, and finding the best person to hold your hand and accompany you is like finding the perfect pair of shoes.

You have to walk a few miles on all kinds of terrain to know how comfortable they are and how far you can walk with them. It may take some time to find the right fit, but when you do, you’ll be strutting down that windy path to success with a skip in your baby steps and joy in your heart. This can take time or can happen instantly, so be patient. It is worth sifting through the chaff to find the grain. When you find the ones who you can trust, then make them your life/business coach. This is serious business, seriously, no really, It is your life! Once you’ve found your perfect match, give it your all. Think about getting yourself a good set of horse blinkers for people (they do exist, look it up) and resist the other shiny objects, while working with this one. There will be time, don’t let the FOMO set in it’s the worst discourager and it isn’t real.

This part is important. ..

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Deborah Neary
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