Get a coach…or not? by Jack Zufelt

Is getting a “coach” a good idea?

If it is…and I say emphatically that it is….on one condition. That you find a qualified one! So the question to ask is…..how do I find a good one? One that is qualified and worth the cost? One with more than a “certificate” they got after taking a “course” on how to be a coach?

The reason people decide to seek out a coach is that need help and direction. They have done everything they know to do and they are still struggling and not where they want to be. They have been seeking but not finding. They are anxious to move to the next level in one or more areas of life but don’t know how. So they seek out a coach. That’s a smart idea IF done right.

Webster’s dictionary defines “coach” as:  “One who offers advice or expertise to others on a professional basis. To impart knowledge and skill to: discipline, educate, instruct, school, teach, train or tutor”.  

Here is a list of what coaching isn’t:

• A Coach is NOT a therapist – although a good coach is certainly a very good listener.
• A coach is NOT a babysitter.
• A coach is NOT your manager.
• A coach is NOT your cheerleader.
• A coach is NOT a hand holder.
• A coach is NOT your friend. Though they are usually very friendly.
• A coach is NOT concerned about your feelings just the results he/she promised.
• A coach is NOT okay with ongoing excuses.
• A coach is NOT always patient.
• Does not make any promises he/she can’t keep.

In order for the coach to be valuable in your life/business you have to be committed to making changes and doing whatever the coach tells you to do……as long as it is legal, moral and ethical.

A true coach is:

• A successful and highly qualified person who has successfully done what you are asking him or her to coach you in.
• A support system…..someone who will listen carefully to get clear about what you need.
• Always honest with you.
• Does not lie….ever.
• Someone to whom you will want to be held accountable.
• Keeps all their promises he/she made to you. 
• Someone who can appreciate your thoughts and ideas.
• Builds you up.
• Someone who can help steer your thinking in the right direction.
• Your compass to help you get to your desired destination.

Here are some real important questions for you! 

Do you set goals? Yes ___ No ____  

Do you write them down and read them frequently? Yes ___ No ____  

Do you achieve many, if not most, of your goals? Yes ___ No ____ 

Do you struggle to achieve your goals? Yes ___ No ____ 

Do you recite affirmations daily? Yes ___ No ____ 

Do you put affirmations in a conspicuous place so you see them all the time? Yes ___ No ____ 

Do most things that you affirm ever become a reality?              Yes ___ No ____ 

Do you listen to motivational speakers but don’t stay motivated when you are alone? Yes ___ No ____ 

Do you buy self-help books? Yes ___ No ____ 

If yes, how many self-help books do you own? __________ How many have you read? __________

Many people buy self-help books because someone recommended them. They felt that by purchasing a book and having it around they would eventually get around to reading it. Or simply absorb the information by osmosis if they held it several times and flipped through the pages but never read each chapter voraciously!

Now I am going to be your “coach”

Do this exercise:

Write down what you want to accomplish in the next 2 to 12 months.              How do you think a coach will assist you in accomplishing these things?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Write down all the reasons that you think you procrastinate! How would a coach help you with this?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you have a list already, look at it and answer this question: How many did you achieve? ____________

How many did you fail to achieve” __________________________________

How do those failures make you feel?  _____________________________________________________________________________________

FYI…. It’s almost always negative. Most people say they feel like a failure.

Do you recite affirmations? Yes ___ No ____

Do you put affirmations all over your house? Like on the bathroom mirror, your desk, your dashboard, your? Yes ___ No ____  

Here is what I have to say about reciting daily affirmations….

Have you ever recited daily affirmations like “I earn $120,000 a year ” or “I am happily married” or “I am debt free” and put them in places (your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, the steering wheel of your car) where you can see and read them all the time? How many of them became a reality? “None” most people say in my seminars.

You feel good about yourself for doing something but the end result, unfortunately, is still nothing has changed…..or may be even worse because now you now feel bad about yourself on top of the failure.

Do you like people to lie to you?  Of course not. No one does. Then why is it acceptable to lie to yourself? That is exactly what affirmations are all about. Saying things that simply are not true over and over in an attempt to convince your brain to accept them so you will get or become the things that you are affirming. 

For example, saying, “I weigh 125 pounds” when you weigh 190 is a lie. Saying I earn $120,000 a year or I own a Mercedes are both lies when you make $35,000 and drive a beat up 2015 vehicle.

By not dealing with the truth, you will instantly be on the wrong path and failure will be the end result. For example: 2 +2 is never 5, no matter how many times you say it is 5. My main mentor said this, “If you know the truth it will set you free.”  The truth will, indeed, set you free BUT you must know  what the truth is…and believe it….and then apply it. Consistently.  Affirmations are not a bad thing to do they are just cannot in any way, make you successful.

How do you feel when you do not achieve your goals? (Scale of 1-10)  _______ 

SHOCKING TRUTHS

Goal Setting is the most used and promoted concept taught yet it is the most damaging technique out there.  Ask yourself the following — and be truthful:

Have you ever set a goal? Yeah, I know, of course you have.  OK, did you write that goal down and read it frequently? Yep, on that one too. Now this is the tough one… have you noticed that many, if not most, of those goals you wrote down never happened? Ouch, you probably never thought about that.

You are not alone. Millions have experienced this. 

How about this one… Goal setting not only does NOT work but it’s negative and self-destructive for you.

Wow, that is definitely a radical viewpoint. Here’s why I say that.   When you look at your list of goals you wrote down on a piece of paper and 8 out of 10 of them did NOT happen, how do you feel about you? Thousands of people in my audiences describe how they feel about this with statements like “I feel like a failure“, “I feel bad.”  “I must not have what it takes.”  “What’s wrong with me?“

I never hear any positive comments. 

I bet you are thinking… “Yeah, but what about those 2 goals that DID come true?”  Well, first it is only a 20% success rate — definitely nothing to brag about.  Second, a little further in this article I will share the secret to those 2 out of 10 goals and why you are able to achieve them and not the others. Here is a clue: Have you ever succeeded at something that you did NOT write down on a goal list? 

Of course you have. Everyone has and does daily. Most of the things you accomplish, probably the most important “successes” in your life, were NEVER written down on a “goal list”.

The goal setting gurus admit that only two or three out of ten of the things you write down and call goals will happen and they feel okay about that. Nowhere else in the world is a seventy or eighty percent failure rate acceptable (it would get you fired at almost any job) but it sure is acceptable in goal setting.

Fact: there was something there to make the other 2 or 3 things happen that was missing for the other 7 or 8. Do you know what that missing ingredient is? 

I call it the Conquering Force.  It is that missing ingredient and once you know what it is and how to get it – you will be set you on the path to start achieving whatever you truly desire in all areas of life.  

“There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.”  Napoleon Hill   

To put yourself in the right frame of mind for this next exercise, you I want you to imagine that you were just handed a check for $10 million dollars – so time and money are not an issue. Allow yourself to be creative – to open up to deep wants – to imagine……and….no BUTS allowed! Like I’d love to do that BUT I can’t imagine to make that happen.

What would I do if I only had the time? ____________________________________________________

 What makes me laugh? _________________________________________________________________

What did I enjoy a kid or young adult?______________________________________________________

What did I enjoy doing before I got married or had children? ___________________________________

If I didn’t have the obligations I have, what would I love to do? __________________________________

If I could do anything I wanted, what would it be? ____________________________________________

If I had plenty of money, what would I do? __________________________________________________

If I could have anything I wanted, what would it be? __________________________________________

If these happened to you when you answered these questions you have identified some of your Core Desires™:

• You smile!
• Tears came to your eyes.
• You begin to cry.
• Your heart begins to pound.
• Your body language changes.
• Endorphins begin to flow – you can’t wait to start.
• You have an “aha!” moment.
• You say:  – WOW – That one really matters to me!
• You feel very desirous to make those things become real.

Self-Help Books

In my seminars I ask the audience how many self-help books they own, 1? 10? 50?  One lady in Australia had over 1,500 self-help books! And when I asked her if they worked, she said, “No” AND that she was STILL looking for the “secret to success” and that’s why she was at my seminar.

In another seminar I asked how many had read Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich? Almost 90% raised their hand! Then I asked how many of you are RICH? All the hands came down except for one! I then stated bluntly:  You got the THINK part down but the “grow rich” part didn’t happen.

Many self-help books, including mine, teach techniques that promise you the world.  Yet, 95% or more of the people who read them never experience the results they are promised and expected.

What makes that 5% successful but not the 95% ? Ahhh….That’s the million-dollar question!  Here is the answer….that 5% was able to naturally tap into, and unleash, their Conquering Force.   

Visualizing

Just like affirmations, visualizing the result you say want makes you feel good because you have been told this is a critical key to success so you do it faithfully. Vision boards fall into this category.  Ask yourself this question, did visualizing that “goal” work?

Did your income increase by $1,000 a month like you visualized? Are you now out of debt? Did you lose the weight like you saw in your visualization?  Do you have that new boat, new car, or mountain cabin you visualized? Again, the answer is almost always, “No”.

Have you ever gotten something without seeing it in your minds eye? Of course you have. Me too. Except for surprising, unplanned “breakthroughs” everything that is created on earth was seen in the mind of the inventor before it was created.  

It’s not exercises like those I have stated above that cause success. It is something much simpler. Once you know what it is and how to unleash it, you can be a super achiever.

What about hiring a “coach”?

That’s a smart to do IF you do it right. You need to be extremely careful about whom you decide to trust with this role in your life or business. Far too many “coaches” are good people who love helping others but……they are not highly successful in their own personal lives or business. They pay a lot of money and enroll in a “coaching program” and in a short period of time they become a “certified” coach. But…..all they know is what that course taught them about coaching. A course on coaching may be awesome and full of great ideas. But if the person who claims to know how to help and guide you as your “coach” not very successful in their own life then you should seek another coach.  

What about Motivational Speakers? 

 I ask my audiences around the world how long they stay motivated after listening to a motivational speaker. And many have listened to some of the best out there. And the answers I always get are, “2 days“, “2 weeks“, ” ’til I got out of the parking lot“!  So, I concluded, and you will probably agree, that motivational speakers, though powerful, interesting and with a great message….have no lasting effect. 

Okay, you say….I see your point, but if none of these techniques work, then why do people teach them? And why do they seem to work for some people and not others?

That is an excellent question! Over the years some successful people who say that their success is because of goal setting or any of the other much hyped self-help techniques have challenged him. 

Some have even accused me of, “going against the wisdom of the ages“.

Even the editor of SUCCESS Magazine started his rave review of his audio program with this exclamation, “How dare he! Zufelt proclaims on his mind changing audio program that goal setting, motivational speakers, etc. don’t work?”  He then went on to write in that review exactly what are reading here in this article.

My response is based on thousands of case histories. The so-called “wisdom of the ages” idea is only about 100 years old. I always ask this…..what did people do to accomplish great things and achieve the results they wanted before the success and personal development movement started in the 1940s?

They scratch their heads and with a funny look on their face they agree there must have been something there. Of course, there was, and it’s still there – in all of us – you, me, your family, everybody.  The truth is… I am teaching the wisdom of the ages. Centuries of the ages.

Now, this is important, once they understood my concept they realized, and freely admitted, that they have been putting the responsibility for their success on the techniques they had learned when in truth it was NOT the techniques but their drive from within that drove them to do, and become, whatever was needed to get the desired result.

Did you get that…?  If not…..then reread that last paragraph.

It was this revelation that caused SUCCESS magazine to feature my audio program a second time because of the extreme success and positive response they had from their readers to their first rave review of the my program.

In fact, it was that same revelation that was the cause of ALL of his successes in life and business – and I am willing to bet it is the same with you. None of his successes started with a written goal, a silly affirmation or visualizing it for months and years. They did, however, have everything to do with his Conquering Force unleashed by Core Desires. The same goes for you.

Just think about this for a minute.  If all the Self-help techniques worked like the success gurus claim, everyone would have what they want… but they don’t.  They promise you their techniques will lead you out of the desert of mediocrity or failure to the promised oasis of success. But like I stated earlier in this article…..If those things worked then why are those techniques failing miserably for 95 to 97% of the people in the world?

And this concept made my audio program the hottest new introduction in the history of Nightingale-Conant, the same company who sells recordings from Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins and many other world-famous speakers and trainers. They also listed me on their celebrity roster of authors and speakers and called me the “Best of the Best” and a “Who’s-Who” of human potential superstars.

My concepts have earned me numerous other distinctions including:

• Being awarded the coveted, Presidential Medal of Merit by the former President of the United States, George Bush.
• Being honored by the United States Senate for teaching Americans how to achieve better results in their life or their career.
• Selected by Winners Digest, a publication for Fortune 500 executives, as one of the two most effective speakers in the U.S.
• Voted one of the top two speakers of the decade by the international publication, Motivation International, which focuses on self-help and motivational concepts.
• Personally endorsed by presidents and executives of many multi-million dollar companies.
• Given the status of Honorary Citizen by the Mayors of 15 major cities in the U.S.

So….if goal setting, self-help books, reciting daily affirmations, doing visualization and vision boards, and listening to motivational speakers don’t work then…..what does work?

I came to the knowledge of what does work through personal experience. There is only one path to success – only one key that unlocks the door to your success. That path, that key, lies in you being able to unleash the unstoppable, God given power within you, which I call the Conquering Force.

You have heard all your life that you have the power within to do, have or become whatever you want. That is a fact. I even showed a crippled ex-football player whose sole dream was to play professional football how to receive what he truly wanted to have. I turned him from a die-hard skeptic into a living example of the power of the Conquering Force. It was an awesome, life changing experience for him.

There is a problem though. It is that most people never learn where the switch to their Conquering Force is!  You see others achieving success in life, their business, job, marriage, and family – but you never seem to be able to plug into your Conquering Force at full power like they do. 

So, do you want to discover the secret to unleashing the Power of YOUR Conquering Force? The good news is that you have already used it many, many times before so you are already familiar with it. It’s an integral part of you. You were born with it!  That’s why I call it, The DNA of Success. It’s the foundation for all achievement – the building blocks for your success! And It’s in your DNA.

With this article you will learn, step-by-step, how to unleash your Conquering Force so you can achieve exactly what you want in life.

Would you like to tap into my mind, like a Vulcan mind-meld Spock would do on the classic Star Trek shows, and transfer to you the power to unleash your Conquering Force today? The ability to unlock your potential to achieve in life what you are destined for? And completely reveal to you the missing ingredient that causes traditional self-help techniques to fall short?

That is why I went into the recording studio and produced my audio program titled,  “How to Use the Conquering Force Within You”.   It consists of 10 CDs wo of which are a recording of lone of my live $15,000.00 seminars!   It’s full of breakthrough information where I share with you how to discover and unleash your Conquering Force and, more importantly, how to use it to achieve success in any area of life that matters to you.

You will learn how to zero in on the automatic mechanism that will propel you into sustained, proper action, focus and excitement, resulting in success in all areas of your life.

You will learn how to tap into your own limitless source of true inspiration and self-motivation…to turn on the juice so you can succeed at any level you honestly want.

I will share with you how to isolate the single, root cause of all success in all 6 areas of life. They are Family, Financial, Social, Educational, Spiritual, and Physical. This is the catalyst that causes all achievement in those six areas to happen.

You will learn how to finally stop wasting your time and money on concepts like goal setting, affirmations, visualization, motivational speakers, etc. are myths when it comes to creating true success in life. They simply are not the way to success.

You will be empowered with the knowledge and ability to overcome stubborn obstacles like fear, stress, lack of money and procrastination once and for all. What would your life be like if you could overcome those obstacles?

I will show you how to find your personal switch to the Conquering Force within you and how to become an unstoppable force within your life. And how to use this to finally eliminate your time killing habit of procrastination…

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