Throw caution to the wind, release as much as possible, and reach out with both hands and heart for all that inspires you… I danced on my parents’ graves this week. It was a bit public… that made it feel ‘risky’— I’m so glad I took the risk! Five years ago, after the death of my Mom, my Dad and my Mom’s sister were spending quite a bit of time together, so it came as no particular surprise to me that one of their ‘dinner parties’ was actually a without warning wedding— theirs! They were in their early 70’s and really couldn’t be bothered with our opinions about it, but they did want us all to be there. They just decided not to tell us ahead of time. I think it was brilliant. Between the two of them they had had 11 kids, when you include spouses that’s just too many opinions to deal with… besides, my aunt’s philosophy always was “it’s easier to apologize later than to get permission first”. NULL We lost my Aunt Mary in early September this year, and yes, her parting leaves a hole in our lives in many ways. Yet her very existence speaks so loudly of fullness that I’m finding this farewell to be one of a true celebration of life and growth.
I’m coming to realize how letting go with appreciation and celebration creates a more powerful opening into the new.
A few weeks before her passing, Mary and I had a conversation about this ‘letting go’ business — involving not only the letting go of physical life but the gifts in letting go of anything in order to make room for the new to appear and grow. In the process of making peace with her impending passing my typically frank aunt had become blunter than ever. As if realizing time was passing too quickly to waste any of it on niceties, she pulled no punches when she told me I had been wasting my time and pushing success away out of some misguided sense of loyalty. I believe her words were something like, “You’re fooling yourself! You’re simply afraid to let go of what you’re used to and you’ll never get the fullness of what could be until you let go of what you’ve been!” We had been talking about my excitement… and concerns around this opportunity I had to participate in a brilliant new venture called TheNetworkMarketingMagazine.com. I was playing with doubt about my ability to show up with the talent and skill necessary at the level of excellence required by this project. She called me on it.
She told me I was simply trying to hang onto what I perceived as a safety net by wondering if I should give up my part-time j.o.b. in order to give the effort needed to something new and untried.
And she told me the ‘safety net’ is a lie made believable by the other ‘lie’… the one about lacking talent and skill— as if those things aren’t always growing if honed. And finally she advised me to throw caution to the wind, release as much as possible, and reach out with both hands and my heart for all that inspires me… with the assurance that the risk is minimal when the letting go is authentic. “It’s like dancing on graves”, she said, “that’s really what we all could benefit from, but out of habit and conditioning we frown upon it and get lost in what ‘coulda been’. I hope you’ll dance on mine!” I smiled and told her I would. I almost talked myself out of it. I gave thought to the disapproval I might meet from a couple of my cousins. It was their mother, after all, and they hold strongly to the idea that ‘rules’ exist for good reason and any breach in protocol is to be viewed with a disapproving eye… But Mary’s words and Being were echoing strongly in my ears and heart, so on this beautiful Monday, as we gathered around my parents gravesite… now to include my Aunt/Step mom… I invited my father and siblings and cousins to join hands and dance with me in celebration of life well-lived. There was a brief hush, when Nicki, Mary’s oldest granddaughter, with tears shining in her eyes held up a little booklet and said with quiet surprise, “It’s the lyrics to Lee Ann Womack’s song, I Hope You Dance. I didn’t think I was ready to say goodbye to Grandma, but I do know she’d love for us to dance with her. I thought I was the only one.” So, with giggles and tears the big people joined hands and danced in a circle while the young children laughed and tossed flower petals from the basket in the center of our circle. So much ‘new’ to grab hold of— I’m so glad I took the risk— I dare you to do the same! — Mary K ¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:- ¸.·´ .·´¨¨)) ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* Light EXPECT MIRACLES!