Sample Agreements for Relationships by Paul and Layne Cutright

Paul and Layne CutrightA supplement to their article RELATIONSHIP COACHING FOR COUPLE IN BUSINESS TOGETHER. Excerpted from Secrets and Strategies for Successful Relationships Coaching Manual  The Purpose of Written Agreements Is to Build Trust through Clarity The following are some sample agreements to inspire you in creating your own. Mark the ones that you think could work for you in your relationships. General Relationship Agreements NULL

  1. We agree to make our relationship a priority.
  2. We agree to do whatever it takes to make our relationship mutually satisfying.
  3. We agree to use our relationship for the purpose of personal and mutual evolution, empowerment, nurturing, and pleasure. This includes the following:
    • Knowing we are all doing the best we can with the resources we have available to us.
    • Encouraging each other’s prosperity and success.
    • Acknowledging each other frequently.
    • Emotionally supporting each other.
    • Being personally responsible for our own experience
    • Empowering each other to be all we can be.
    • Being honest in all ways.

Agreements for Handling Upsets

  1. We agree to communicate through upsets until they are resolved to our mutual satisfaction.
  2. We agree never to use the “silent treatment.”
  3. We agree to always tell the truth about our thoughts and feelings.
  4. We agree to be responsible in our communication (i.e., to speak in “I” sentences and not to cast blame).
  5. We agree to share our resentments and upsets daily with each other.
  6. Before blaming the other, we agree to spend time looking at what’s going on with ourselves first (e.g., using the Co-Creator Upset Resolution Exercise: CURE).
  7. We agree not to interrupt each other.
  8. We agree not to offer “constructive criticism” when angry or upset.
  9. We agree not to use physical violence.
  10. We agree to seek outside support when we are stuck.
  11. We agree not to make major decisions when we are upset.
  12. We agree to correct mistakes rather than punish them.
  13. We agree to learn from the upset.
  14. We agree to work on resolving issues from the past.

Amendment System: An agreement regarding the course of action to be taken when an agreement is broken. The amendment system is carried out, the agreement is renegotiated or not, and the issue is complete.

Agreements are always open for renegotiating!! Change agreements if they aren’t working.

Other suggested categories for agreements: Financial and/or Business Family planning and child rearing Relatives Household responsibilities Personal hygiene Jealousy Vacations and social time

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