Seeing the “NOs” before they are spoken by dr. g. jack.brown

dr. g. jack.brownThere is a goldmine of information waiting for you on everyone’s face. Go ahead and open it up. Once a “no” is spoken aloud, a wall is put up in the speakers’ mind that is very difficult to bring down. Whether it’s due to his/her psychology, pride, life-experience or idiosyncrasies – the utterance of this negative makes it highly unlikely that they’ll change their mind. The proverbial doors are closed. Your chances of winning them back to your way of thinking or making the sale are very slim. But what if you could you detect a “No” before it is spoken? If you could, such a gift would allow you to change the direction of what is thought, said and done so that the course of any contract negotiation, meeting, sale or any interaction will have a much better outcome.

With body language knowledge and practice you can perform this mind-reading miracle.

 NULL There are many “tells” of an impending “No.” Here are is a brief synopsis of just three: Pursed Lips Pursed Lips resemble a puckering of the lips. There is a for-shortening of the mouth laterally and it is drawn into a circle. There are often secondary and temporary wrinkles which radiate outward from the center of the mouth. This is a negative emotional facial display indicating disagreement with what is said or that an alternative is being strongly considered. I have seen this in the courtroom on the faces of judges, in the classroom on the faces of professors, in business meetings on the faces of virtually all in the room, and in the medical exam on the faces of patients and physicians. We see this expression commonly displayed on the faces of politicians when they are under pressure or let their guard down – such as in debates or testifying before congress. When you see this on the face of a sales prospect – if you want to walk away with a sale, you would be wise to note when the lip pursing occurs (as body language signals occur in “real-time” with what is being felt & thought), and through careful conversation, change the course of the how it “feels” to the other and change your offer.

Lip Pursing displays is extremely common and very valuable sources of information. Think of it as a business tool, for it is one of the most reliable signs of “consideration of alternatives” or “outright disagreement” before it is voiced aloud.

Micro Expression of Disgust or Contempt A “Micro Expression” is a characteristic facial expression which appears very briefly. They are involuntary and are consistent with emotions being felt in real time. Lasting from between 0.04 of a second to 0.50 second – they are not recognized naturally by anyone but a very small percentage of people (only about 1 in 400 people). However, with practice virtually everyone who wants to can learn to recognize the longer versions (Macro Expressions) of these and other universal expressions (present in all races, ages, cultures, and ethnicities) can do so. Then with training and reinforcement – most of us can learn to detect the Micro Expressions and once this door is opened – every conversation will take on amazing new depths and dimensions. Disgust: Disgust is a specific emotion. It is a strong feeling of aversion for a thing or person whether seen, felt, smelt, tasted or even heard. It typically is observed with things that are inedible, unclean, or in some way offensive. The characteristic facial expression of Disgust involves:

  • Wrinkles on bridge of the Nose
  • Wrinkles on side of the Nose
  • Lower Lip is raised
  • Lower Lip is protruding slightly
  • Upper Lip is raised (sometimes very high)
  • The upper Lip and area between the upper lip and nose is tightened
  • Wrinkling of the Cheeks forming a Crescent shape (concave down) across the face
  • Flaring of the nostrils
  • Lowering of eye brows (but they are not draw together as in anger)
  • Crows feet on the lateral (ear side) of the eyes
  • Chin wrinkling

Contempt: Contempt is another specific emotion. It is similar to disgust, but it can only be felt toward another person, or group of people. Contempt is also different from disgust in that you are metaphorically placing another person or group of people beneath you. You believe them to be inferior to you. The characteristic facial expression of contempt is very similar to that of disgust, except that contempt is largely unilateral – it involves primarily one side of the face. Contempt is a powerful emotion with very significant consequences. It is the most predictive indicator of marriage/relationship failure. When contempt is displayed towards a spouse, there is a 70% chance of failure within three years. Contempt is so negative, that within the context of marriage, the recipient of this emotion will suffer through a significant increase in the number of infections and illness acquired over the next four years. The effect of contempt on the immune system has not yet been studied outside the context of marriage. Like all emotions and their corresponding body language, the macro-expressions or micro-expressions of disgust and contempt exist in a continuum from very subtle to extreme. Many people fail to recognize the even the extreme examples of these emotions. I challenge you to know these characteristic and very specific macro-expressions so that you may recognize the subtle examples and subsequently the micro-expressions.

For it is the recognition of these nuances where you will detect emotions that will show you the “No” before it is said – so that you can redirect the course of the conversation, the offer and the outcome.

There is a goldmine of information waiting for you on everyone’s face. Go ahead and open it up.

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