The Psychology of Caring by Brett Harward

Brett HarwardWhen a prospect, customer or new distributor feels cared for, it’s a complete game changer in the network marketing world.  Unfortunately it doesn’t happen that often.  To understand this concept let’s contrast feeling cared for with the feeling of being sold.  More specifically, we’re talking about the feeling of being sold something whether we need it or not.  Let’s make a couple distinctions so as not to confuse exactly what we’re talking about.

Let me start by dispelling 4 myths about caring:


1) “You cannot be pushy if you really care about someone.”  Not true! It is possible to sell, and even hard sell AND still care about someone.  In my mind, when the caring is demonstrated, selling hard at times is necessary because you do care.

2) “I have to be one of those touchy feely people in order for others to feel that I care.”  Actually, whether or not you do care is of relatively little consequence.  In other words, if you care deeply about those with whom you are working, but they don’t see it – it’s the same as you not caring!  Likewise, if you really don’t care about someone but they feel like you do really care – you’ll receive all the benefits of caring.  (The second option doesn’t happen often.)

3) “Caring is best displayed by verbally letting someone know how much you do care about them.”  Caring has almost nothing to do with what you say.  It’s all about what you do and even more importantly, when you do it.  In fact, telling people how much you care actually raises the performance expectation bar and makes it more difficult afterward to actually have the person feel cared for.

4)  “Caring is demonstrated by under promising and over performing.”  In fact, the highest level of being cared for is when you let people know exactly what you’re going to do for them, and delivering exactly what was promised.

So here’s how I define caring. 


Caring involves being committed to the prospect, customer, or down line and actually delivering and/or achieving the benefit they were buying from you in the first place.  The benefit might be better health, beauty, weight loss, or financial prosperity.  In other words, extending the solution, service and/or support and providing the experience beyond the sale – allowing the customer to actually realize the benefit they expected.  In truth, this after-the-sale follow up doesn’t happen very often.

Prior to the sale, just about everything you say will be understood by your prospect as your attempt to separate them from their money.  They will be looking for clues about whether or not you care about them.  Unfortunately, telling them over and over again how much you care will likely make them even more skeptical.  It’s what sales people do.  Once you have their check, their signup and their commitment, your prospective customer or distributor is likely wondering whether they just got suckered, or whether they hit the jackpot to be working with you.  What you do next will quickly let them know whether or not you care.

Caring is most clearly demonstrated once I have nothing more to gain from another person. 


Malcolm Forbes was quoted as saying “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”  This is the essence of caring; how do you act once you have their money?  Or when there is nothing else you expect from them.  Let’s face it, it’s easy to get distracted trying to find your next customer instead of following up with the one you’ve already be paid on.

Here are some of the benefits that come from engaging

the psychology of caring.


  • Forgiveness – Customers and Distributors will be more forgiving if you happen to forget or mess something up.
  • Referrals – Way more referrals. People like to refer others they know to the person who they believe genuinely cares.
  • People stick with the products and the opportunity longer when they feel cared for.
  • Loyalty – It’s human nature to trust someone who we sense cares about us. We are more likely to try other products or services from people when we feel like they really do care.
  • Peace of Mind – It creates far less internal stress for us when we don’t leave lot’s of incomplete commitments and promises

So how do I demonstrate caring?


  1. First, it’s easier when you do actually care about others.
  2. Make sure you’re genuinely interested in the other person actually using the product you’re selling. The first day is the most important.  A quick reminder call or text let’s them know you do care and actually encourage the use of your product.
  3. Setup some key times for you to call back and touch base with your customers. Make sure there is no other agenda on these calls other than just checking in.  Don’t try to sell them something else on check-up calls because they’ll immediately sense the real “why” of your call.
  4. Asking the hard questions and help them solve any problems. Being confident enough to ask the obvious questions such as: “How are you feeling?” or “How do you like the product?” or “Are you happy with the product?” generates confidence to your customer.  Believe that your role is to help them by identifying their concerns and problems so you can confidently make suggestions to resolve them when needed.
  5. Teaching – especially when the sale has already been made demonstrates caring. Teaching before the sale is made will be seen as selling.

Caring is the value-add that can make your network marketing business a great and valuable experience to those you serve. 


Networking with this element of caring sets you apart because it just isn’t typical or available through any other distribution channel.  And as you improve your ability to show others how you care, you are likely to find the real joy in networking.

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