The Key Is In Knowing and Choosing What You REALLY Want… by Teresa Romain

Teresa RomainRemember what it is you REALLY want and allocate your time, money and energy accordingly. When it comes to managing your business, your time, your money and your life, it all comes down to making choices. I can’t always promise you that you will be able to make a choice between two things you want or like, but you always have a choice. That being said, to make a choice – you have to remember that there is more than one thing to choose between. And you have to be disciplined. This is what I mean by being disciplined – and it’s inspired from a quote I once heard. Regretfully, I do not know the source.

“Discipline is the art of remembering – in each moment – what it is that you really want and then choosing it.”

People who successfully manage their business, their time, their money and their lives are disciplined. They are clear about what they REALLY want – and they make choices that are congruent with those desires. NULL

And, bottom line, what most network marketers REALLY want is a life that they enjoy and that both expresses and fulfills them. You want to prosper – and you want to support others to prosper as well. (Yes???) Enter the mistake I see so many network marketers make, i.e., they only have clear goals for their business. Their dreams and vision boards may speak to the prosperous life and lifestyle they want, their actual goals are only for their business. They see their BUSINESS as the conduit for the life and lifestyle they want.

But your BUSINESS is not the conduit or source of you having the life and lifestyle you desire – YOU are.

Because YOU are the one who makes the choices about how to use your time and money and energy – either in a way that is disciplined and supports you to prosper or NOT. But if you’re not clear about what you want to be, have and experience in your life – in TOTAL – you won’t make choices that support those things.

Which is why I coach my clients to have a picture (even a vision board) of what they want – in ALL aspects of their lives – and then to set shorter-term, progressive goals for each aspect.

After all, don’t you want your ENTIRE life to move forward and become more prosperous – not just your business? One way to do this is to create what I call a “WEAL of Abundance”. (FYI – “weal” is the word from which the word “wealth” is derived and means “well-being”. So this diagram is a visual representation that helps you to envision and make choices that support well-being and abundance in your life.) This WEAL basically looks like the wheel on a pioneer’s covered wagon. You have a circle in the middle where the axle attaches and there are 6-8 sections divided by spokes. Then I have you add a “rubber tire” around the outside of the circle or “weal”. This is your “money tire” and depicts the role that money (and your reality and relationship with it) has in your life and the impact it has on all aspects of your life and your well-being.

The hole in the middle where the axle attaches is you – because YOU are the “axle” around which everything revolves and evolves in your life.

The areas between the spokes represent the major areas that make up a well-rounded or abundant life – including family, friends, your social life, your home, your business and/or career, personal and/or professional growth, and possibly hobbies or organizations in which you are actively involved. In one exercise working with this WEAL, I ask my clients to create 1-3 small and achievable 90-Day goals in each of these areas that will support them to move their ENTIRE life forward and give them a sense of progress, satisfaction and well-being. (FYI – I’ll send you a FREE copy of a blank Weal of Abundance you can fill in for yourself – plus a 90-Day Weal of Abundance Goal Sheet. Go to: http://www.AccessAbundance.com/MLMgiftWOA.php) Next, I ask them to get specific on the time required (each day, week or month) to achieve these and to schedule the needed time into their calendars or appointment books. I also coach them to get specific on the money required to achieve each of their 90-day goals and to allocate that money into their budgets (or what I call their “Abundance Plans”). With their goals in front of them and their time and money allocated to achieve them – they are now better prepared to exercise discipline in making the choices that support them to achieve these goals and to experience progress, success and a greater sense of well-being and prosperity. Now – when it comes to making choices, it’s important to realize that saying “YES” to one thing means you are simultaneously saying “NO” to something else. That is the nature of a choice.

The trick is to make sure you are saying “YES” to the things that most support your overall well-being and prosperity – for today as well as in the future.

To do this, it helps to ask yourself… “If I say “YES” to this, what am I REALLY choosing? And what am I saying “NO” to as a result?” For example, let’s say you are asked to be on a committee for your local church (or some other organization). The committee meets every Tuesday night. Before you say “yes” to the invitation, you look at your WEAL of Abundance that depicts those aspects of your life that are most important to you. This organization may or may not be on it. Then you look at your 90-Day Goals for the areas that are part of your WEAL – including family, friends, home, social life and self-care. That’s what reminds you that one of your well-being goals is to play golf once a week. You also remember the notice you saw in the paper about reduced greens fees on Tuesday nights at your local golf course. Suddenly, you are aware of the choice you are making. If you say “yes” to the committee, you are saying “no” to golfing on Tuesday nights and taking advantage of the savings. And if you spend the other nights each week building your business, then you might be saying “no” to your goal of “golf” completely.

There’s no “right” or “wrong” choice. But you do have to make a choice. And seeing the choice within the context of your entire life increases your ability to make the best and most prosperous choice for you.

Here’s another example. Let’s say that one thing you really want in your life is a home that you enjoy and love to entertain in. To support this, you set a 90-Day goal to have clean, neat and organized kitchen cupboards, drawers and pantry. Let’s say that you also determine that you are going to need a gallon of paint and some new shelf-paper – for a projected expense of $75. So – you allocate $75 in your budget (perhaps $25 a month for 3 months) for these supplies. And by saying “YES” to having this $75 for your kitchen, you are automatically saying “NO” to using that $75 for something else. You also determine that the time you need to accomplish this is 30 minutes each week for de-cluttering, cleaning and organizing. Each Monday, you schedule 30 minutes in your appointment book to devote to your goal that week. This week you chose Thursday night at 8:00 – after which you have planned a date with your spouse/partner to relax together with a movie and popcorn (another goal on your WEAL.) Then a new team member calls and asks you to do a 3-way conversation with her and a prospect on Thursday night. Of course, you want to help her – especially since she’s new! Right???? But when you look at your calendar, what do you see? You see the appointment you made with yourself for de-cluttering your kitchen and then a movie and popcorn with your spouse/partner. This awareness is asking you to be disciplined. You are called upon to make a choice. One such choice might be that you say you are not available at 8:00 and ask if she can do it earlier in the evening. If an earlier time works, then you can still make progress toward the enjoyable home you desire as well as having a grea
t relationship with your spouse/partner. But even finding a way to say “YES” to both goals, you have automatically said “NO” to some other way you could have used your time and energy on Thursday night. If he/she said that the only time that works is 8:00 – then you have another choice to make. You might tell her “we’ll need to schedule it for another night” and keep your commitment to yourself OR you could talk to your spouse/partner about starting the movie at 9:00 and then do your de-cluttering at 8:30 so you can be available for the 3-way at 8:00 p.m.

But here’s what makes this all so powerful and empowering. Throughout this whole process, you were aware of what you were making a choice between and the impact it has on your ENTIRE life and overall well-being.

Imagine how much different it might be if you never actually set a special “progress goal” toward having a home you enjoy. You would have been available at 8:00 for the 3-way but, repeating that pattern over time would likely leave you feeling frustrated. After all, “you’re working so hard” but you’re not getting part of what you really want, e.g., a home you enjoy. Even if you did set a goal for your home – like de-cluttering your kitchen – imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t allocated the time in your schedule to achieve it. Without that “appointment” on your calendar, you would have thought you “had the time”, told your team member “yes” and then wondered why you never seem to have time to do the things you want to do around the house – or to watch a movie and relax with your spouse/partner. And then you might wonder why your spouse/partner seems to resent you for working so hard in your business – because you’re not seeing that the choices you make are not honoring your WEAL of Abundance and the well-being you REALLY want. Now – add to this the other 90-Day goals you might have set that support you to have a well-rounded life. Like exercising 15 minutes a day. Like having a family night once a week. Like reading a certain book. Like learning to knit. Like going on a camping trip or a getaway weekend. Like making five follow-up phone calls a day. Like having two shows a week. Like attending three networking or exposure events a month. Like taking a hot bubble bath. Or getting a massage. Or playing golf. The trick to managing your business, your time, your money and your life that I recommend?

See yourself and your life as a WHOLE instead of the individual parts.

Realize that you have only so much time and money (and energy) to work with. And make choices about how you will allocate those resources to make progress and prosper in all areas of your life – to give you that sense of well-roundedness, well-being and success that you can build upon. That will attract others to you.

The mistake too many network marketers make is that they set goals for their business without considering the impact those goals have on their overall well-being and what they really want to be, have and experience in their life.

So you set a goal to make 30 phone calls a day and/or do 8 parties a week. Yes – you CAN do it. But at what prices to your life as a WHOLE – and to your sense of well-being and prosperity in the process? What aspect of your life does that “oversized goal” lead you to ignore and not give time and energy to? Is it your exercise? Is it your date night or family night? Is your home messy and cluttered to the point that overwhelms you and you don’t even enjoy being in it? Is it a hot bubble bath? Is it playing golf or learning to knit? Is it getting 6-8 hours of sleep? Is it your finances – do you spend too much money going out to eat because you’re too busy or too tired to fix something at home? When you do this, your WEAL of abundance suddenly becomes lop-sided and you find yourself trying to “roll along” in your business and your life on a crescent shaped tire (or, actually, a triangle with a rounded side!) This makes the “ride” (aka, your life) bumpy, slow, exhausting and not a whole heck of a lot of fun. Not only does your well-being suffer in the process, your business usually does as well. The key to managing your business, time, energy, money and life?

See the WHOLE and the connectedness of the “parts”. Be clear on what you want for your WHOLE life and set incremental and progressive goals that move your entire life forward – including your business.

Even if that means your progress in your business is a little slower, your experience of success, fulfillment and prosperity will be greater – which will attract more people to you. Remember what it is you REALLY want and allocate your time, money and energy accordingly. And then be DISCIPLINED about making the choices that allow you to “roll along” prosperously. Enjoy the ride!

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