The Power of ‘Matching’ your Communications by Bob Scheinfeld

Bob ScheinfeldWe experience ‘surface communication’ with our physical senses and the non-physical is the intuition, gut instinct or ‘sixth sense’. When these two are in alignment the outcome will have a positive impact. If not… Out of the blue this year I received several invitations to speak about the unique Internet marketing strategies I use in my businesses and my use of multimedia for promotion and product creation. At the end of those talks, I added a piece that I refer to as my “ultimate secret weapon,” or “the turbocharger.” The audiences seemed to love that piece, so I decided to share it with you here. If you’re already aware of my 11th Element work, some of this will be familiar to you.

I share this in the context of business building, but it actually has application to all aspects of life.

Let me begin by asking you two questions:  NULL 1. Have you ever met someone for the first time and without having any real interaction time with them, you instantly had feelings of trust and comfort, or distrust and discomfort with them? 2. Do you feel you have a pretty good “bulls__t detector” and can tell when someone is lying to you? If you answered yes to one or both questions, you’ve witnessed a very powerful communication dynamic at work, possibly without realizing the true significance of it. Here’s what I mean.

Whenever you communicate with another person, whether it’s face to face, on the phone, through audio or video recording, or the written word, there are two channels of communication being sent and received simultaneously.

The first is what you experience with your physical senses— what you see and hear. I call this “surface communication.” The second is what you experience with your non-physical senses, what you’d call intuition, sixth sense, gut instinct, etc. I call this “energetic communication.” Whether you admit it or not, or consciously track it or not, you’re receiving lots of information through both channels all the time.

You don’t need to ‘be psychic’ or ‘gifted’ to do this. We all do it. It’s our natural state.

Based on that fact, there are 2 things you must realize: 1. If the information flowing through both channels “matches,” that is, they’re saying the same thing, the communication is effective and has tremendous positive impact. If there’s a mismatch, however, meaning the surface communication says one thing, and the energetic communication says something else, there will be problems. People will sense the mismatch and on some level, it’ll bother them or raise a red flag about you or your communication. I’ll illustrate this in a minute. 2. The energetic component is much more powerful in determining the ultimate effectiveness of communication.

We all think the surface communication is what counts, but it’s really the energetic communication that has the real power.

Let me give you some examples to illustrate these two key points. If you own a business and are selling a widget, and your advertising says “Our widget is fantastic and our service and support are first-rate” (i.e. the surface communication), but the truth is that your widget has problems and your service and support are weak, (i.e. the energetic communication), the mismatch in what’s flowing through the two channels will ultimately come back to haunt you. As another example, suppose you have a website and are selling a product through it. You have a sales letter or some sort of text designed to sell it. Suppose at the end of that sales letter you say “And the investment for this product is $699”, but you secretly have thoughts that $699 is too much, and no one will buy at that price. There’s an energetic reference to that which others can sense and it creates a mismatch. These are two business examples, but again, this kind of dynamic takes place in our personal relationships as well. When I look at these mismatches, I compare them to speed bumps on a smooth road. Suppose you’re driving along on a smooth road in your dream car. The top is down, it’s a beautiful day, a soft breeze is blowing on your face and you’re having an awesome experience. Then, suddenly, without warning, you go over a speed bump in the road and your car “bounces” over it harshly. What happens? You get yanked out of your awesome state and get a shock to your system, right? If that happens just once, you’ll quickly rebound and return to your awesome state. However, if you keep hitting speed bumps on that road every few feet, what will you do? Get off the road, right? The same thing happens with mismatches in your communication with other people. People will “put up” with a few speed bumps from a personal or business perspective.

But if they keep experiencing them, they’ll get off your road too, which means leave your orbit, which means not buy your product or service, not want to hang around with you, etc.

They might not even consciously know why they’re doing it, but the power of the energetic communication compels them to make the decision to leave your orbit. Conversely, if the energetic message you’re sending about any subject is strong and clear and powerful, you could simply show up (in person or through audio, video, print), say very little, and be e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y effective with others, including motivating them to buy a product or service if they could really benefit and that’s your goal. I’ve had fascinating experiences with these dynamics in my own life. For some reason, I was born with the “volume” on my energetic communication being set to a much “louder” setting than most people. As a result, matches and mismatches in my communication had a lot more impact. That’s how I really “got” how powerful these dynamics are. So, what’s the “to do” from this? Simple. Some of it will sound obvious (but you’ll see it from a fresh perspective) and some will be new: 1. Be honest in all your communications, because if you’re not, people will sense the mismatch. It may or may not have impact in the moment, but it will over time.

Many people think they can fool people with their surface communications, but the energetic references are always there expressing what’s true.

2. Review all your communications, especially written, audio or video, and if you notice anything going through your thoughts or feelings as you communicate that conflict with what your surface communication says, do whatever it takes to resolve the mismatch immediately. 3. Anytime you notice a mismatch forming of any kind in the moment—you weren’t *completely* honest about something, you exaggerated a bit, you have doubts about what you said, etc.— even if it was unintentional— resolve it immediately by doing whatever you have to so the two channels of communication match.

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