TNMM December 2022 “Ask Uncle Russ” by Russ DeVan

Russ DeVan

Dear Uncle Russ:

How do I help people have confidence and believe in themselves?

 ___ Ray G. Seattle, WA

Thanks, Ray. I wish more people were interested in this question. In a word; listen. Make them feel important by being authentically interested in them. What are their best qualities? What are they committed to? When you hear qualities and values such as courage, tenacity, open-mindedness, compassion, integrity, discipline, etc……ACKNOWLEDGE them! Sometimes people don’t see what’s best about themselves and when they do, they are reticent to say something for fear of being judged. Many feel “invisible” even to family and friends. Listen to their “self-talk” and notice when they “down” themselves or feign modesty.

Call’em on it! Over the years, I have watched some beautiful lumps of coal become diamonds before my very eyes. I had little to do with it except that I saw and heard them as diamonds all along and consistently told them so….until they believed me.



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Russ DeVan
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