WOO Lesson 2: Be a WORLD-CLASS Buddy-Thanker! by Brian Biro

Brian BiroWhat you look for in others and yourself, you will find. And what you find, you will unleash. It is an extraordinary WOO that is possible in every precious moment! The most important WOOs we will either seize or miss in our lives are all about relationships. An absolute must to build wonderful relationships in your life is to become a “world-class buddy-thanker.”

And, remember, Network Marketing is ALL ABOUT building sensational relationships!

When you live with an attitude of gratitude, it becomes natural to catch others doing things right. But let me ask you an eye-opening question. Who are the people in our lives we tend to forget to thank the most? I’ve asked this question in almost every seminar I’ve ever taught, and have always heard similar responses. The people we most often forget to thank are those to whom we are the closest—our spouse, children, parents, or the people we work beside everyday. NULL When triggered by the question we see how easily we can fall into the habit of taking the people we love most for granted. We can rationalize that we don’t need to tell the prized people in our lives know how we feel about them because they should already know, but the end result of neglect is decay and diminution.

The more we fall into the habit of taking others for granted and withholding our appreciation, the more disconnected we become from the countless blessings in our lives.

How do you reverse this downward cycle and become a world-class buddy-thanker? The secret is found in the words: WORLD-CLASS! After all, isn’t that the kind of life you’d love to create, one that was viewed as world-class? Here’s a fun and easy way to remember how to become a world-class buddy-thanker. When you think of world class amusement park entertainment, who do you think of? Usually the answer is Disney. When you think of world-class coffee houses, who do you think of? Sure, Starbucks is at the top of the list. Now, when you think of world-class sports television, who do you think of? That’s right, ESPN! How do you become a world-class buddy-thanker? Easy…just remember ESPN! The E stands for Effort and Energy. World-class buddy-thankers bring higher levels of effort and energy to the way they express appreciation and praise. They are more heart-felt, creative, and vibrant. They seize the WOO to give third party compliments that allow other key people to hear of the performance, adding a touch of extraordinary personal attention to the praise that makes it more special and memorable.

But the real key to mastering the E in ESPN is to thank people FOR their effort and energy, not just their results.

The truth is, we don’t control results. We control the effort, energy, and attitude we apply to work toward results. When you thank others for their effort and energy, guess what? They create more results! Why?

Because now they are focusing on what they control rather than what they don’t.

In 27 years of coaching basketball at UCLA, the greatest coach in history, John Wooden, never used the words winning or losing with his players. Instead he taught them that success is peace of mind which comes from knowing you’ve given the best of which you’re capable. In other words he focused his coaching on his players’ effort and energy. That unique focus led to ten National Championships. No other men’s coach in college history has won as many as four! That same simple principle is here for you to apply right now! The S in ESPN stands for surprise. This is the least known and one of the most powerful leadership tools you have available to ignite others. Write personal cards to friends, teammates, prospects, and family members expressing your gratitude and admiration even when it’s not their birthday or anniversary. These “happy, heck-of-it” cards will delight the recipients, and they will once again know they are important. E-mail (which stands for ENERGY mail!) and voice mail provide fantastic opportunities to give compliments and to say thanks. Create “moments” for the special people in your life by giving unexpected gifts, arranging surprise events, or holding spontaneous, unexpected “award ceremonies.” You will light up others and the result will be extraordinary loyalty, commitment, and fun! The P in ESPN is the most important key to becoming a world-class buddy-thanker. In fact, it is the ultimate secret to balance, connection, and trust.

The secret centers around a simple, yet immeasurably profound principle called being fully present.

Perhaps the most powerful way to understand this principle of being present is to look clearly at what it is not. Several years ago when I was the vice-president of a large training company, I became painfully aware of what it means to not be present. At that time we were a family of three with my wife Carole and me, and our oldest daughter, Kelsey who was five-years-old. Driven by an unrelenting, nearly suffocating feeling of overwhelm, I had fallen into the habit of reaching the office by 5:00 a.m. and not returning home until well after 6:00 in the evening. Many weekends I was away, teaching seminars around the country. Not once did I see my daughter get ready for kindergarten. Not once did I surprise her by picking her up from school to spend some special, unexpected moments together. I mistakenly convinced myself that I didn’t have time. I had to be at the office first and to put more hours in than anyone else. After all, I was driving myself for my family, wasn’t I? When I trudged wearily through the door at 6:30 each night, Kelsey ran to me the instant I appeared in the house. She threw her arms around me and told me how much she loved and missed me as she looked into my eyes with pure joy. She then began to tell me all about the wonderful things that happened to her all day—special, magical things that only happen when you are five-years-old.

And, I missed it. I didn’t hear a word she said.

You see, when I walked in that door, my body showed up. But, my mind, my heart, and my spirit were still back at the office. The most important people in my life were right there, at home, waiting for me and I never really saw them or heard them when they most needed me because I was not present. This went on for months until one morning as I drove into work I suddenly realized what my lack of presence was communicating to my wife and child. In that excruciating moment it felt as if someone had bashed me full-force in the stomach with a sledge hammer. Emerson once said “What you do screams so loudly I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

Nothing screams so loudly as our presence or lack of presence.

Every evening when I marched blankly through my front door, my thoughts still focused on the day’s events, I expressed to Carole and Kelsey much more clearly than through words that they were not as important as all those other matters. As I continued to drive that morning, all I could see in my mind was Kelsey’s shining eyes so filled with love. I was overcome with suffocating feelings of remorse and loss. Sobbing uncontrollably I finally recognized how many precious moments of connection I had lost with her and Carole by not being present. In that instant I understood for the first time that there was nothing more important to me than becoming a master of being fully present for those I love. It was time to make the choice to come home.

By being present we let others know at a heart level how important they truly are.

This is our greatest opportunity as parents, friends, professionals and caring human beings. When others feel important they begin to live up to their potential. Our presence breath
es faith, belief, and positive expectation into their souls. Without this presence, we cannot truly give. Being present is not something you can fake. It is not a technique. It is a decision. Do you know whether or not someone is actually fully with you in mind, body, and spirit? Can you even tell over the phone? The answer is clear. We have a definite sense of whether others are right there with us, giving full concentration or drifting off and not truly connected. When we make the conscious and consistent decision to be fully present to the very best of our ability, we open ourselves to more joy than we’ve ever imagined and create the possibility to make the difference for which we were put on this earth.


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Brian Biro
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